hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize