Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
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She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
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The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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