The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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