My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This gyro tastes like lonliness
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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