just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We left an ass print on the piano.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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