I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
