That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
