evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
