i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's blow job season.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
