It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
