he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
