mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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