JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
