yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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