honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
