i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
