wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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