My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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