Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
