I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
