TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
