24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
