we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
