i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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