I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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