All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize