I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
