I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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