would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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