I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.