The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?