If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
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Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
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no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with