I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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