Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.

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  (810): I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life. http://tfl.nu/vjtl
  Replies (3) Good night (1002) Bad night (1929)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now

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  (321): just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now http://tfl.nu/uvwa
  Replies (4) Good night (696) Bad night (858)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.

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  (512): uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on. http://tfl.nu/0y74
  Replies (13) Good night (570) Bad night (1000)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.

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  (609): WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW. http://tfl.nu/kof5
  Replies (32) Good night (6697) Bad night (829)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

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  (404): i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ". http://tfl.nu/tf5y
  Replies (388) Good night (41132) Bad night (4148)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.

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  (709): apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos. http://tfl.nu/b1xi
  Replies (22) Good night (1154) Bad night (4131)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  hes a good boy he deserves a good blow

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  (515): hes a good boy he deserves a good blow http://tfl.nu/pix3
  Replies (92) Good night (7819) Bad night (1155)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.

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  (336): I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit. http://tfl.nu/udb7
  Replies (13) Good night (3763) Bad night (2440)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  There are paw prints all over my ceiling.

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  (303): There are paw prints all over my ceiling. http://tfl.nu/gg63
  Replies (12) Good night (3505) Bad night (731)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.

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  (480): Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea. http://tfl.nu/s5ct
  Replies (5) Good night (709) Bad night (1112)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you said candy land and then passed out.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.

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  (215): you said candy land and then passed out. (215): ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/gx08
  Replies (8) Good night (2944) Bad night (506)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.

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  (407): Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas. http://tfl.nu/zp3l
  Replies (6) Good night (1784) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.

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  (403): The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume. http://tfl.nu/nbz2
  Replies (5) Good night (2352) Bad night (757)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!

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  (440): I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?! http://tfl.nu/61is
  Replies (4) Good night (565) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me

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  (425): Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me http://tfl.nu/wcm8
  Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (262)

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