my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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