What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
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Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
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He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely