the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
