So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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