Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
