Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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