Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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