did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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