You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
