wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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