Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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