your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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