cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
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btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
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Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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