if only i could text you this smell
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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