It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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