Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
