You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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