Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
it's like iHOP with fire
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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