I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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