well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
