Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
