she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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