Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
