i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
