Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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