Dual....:-)
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
