I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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