I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize