she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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